That feeling we do not have enough time for our children … That feeling that we fail when raising them … That feeling we hurt them unconsciously because we “know” what is the best for them …
We lost our intuition and confidence somewhere along our way that also our children are perfect human beings and giving them support in life is different from what we really do, how we manage their lives in accordance with our beliefs and perceptions, what is right and what is not.
Do we really know what is right? Or are we guided by what we have learned only? Our parents delivered us their experience, they changed us to their image, because they thought it was right. Nobody taught them that we are different beings and that treat everyone in the same way and then expect that we should be the same “wise and right people” as they are – it is just destroying our own development.
School, religion … all our lives everyone tells us what is “right” and how we should behave. And we apply it to our children. If it worked over centuries it would not mean it is right. For example: I think that my child should play some musical instrument even though he does not like it. I can force him from my position of power, because it is “right”; but then I create aversion to the instrument or the music itself – but why should I care? We could give an endless number of such examples. We always do this with good intention because we are not able to do it in a different way and we believe it is right.
We try to form our children according to our own experience and learned truths to prepare them perfectly; we are turning them into something they are not, just forgetting about their own personalities. If our child is artistically gifted but we oppress him for not being a mathematician and until he learns a math he must not do what he likes and what he is good at. All of this happens only because we are convinced that without good marks and being good at math he will never be studying at good school and therefore he will be unsuccessful in his life. This will only cause he will never be good at mathematics and at the same time we prevent him to evolve in what he is good at and thus we kill his creativity.
If we have ever considered them as equal personalities, we could learned a lot from them, because they still keep their intuition, pure joy of life, unconditional love … We are the ones who unwittingly make them to lose it.
Let’s begin to perceive personality differences between us and our children and leave them a room for their development. Let’s do not kill feelings in them just because it is not proper to cry, feel anger, in fact no emotions should be felt, especially the “bad” ones. Let’s do not destroy their potential and creativity because we do not allow them to express themselves and do what they enjoy. Do not tie them with our guilt that we have little time for them, and then keeping them close to us and choke them. Let’s support them in what they need and what they are good at …
Let us be their idol, not a boss, and let them develop their potential so they can live their lives to the fullest in order to gather their own experience. And let them discover by themselves what is right for them; from their inner freedom and purity.